Every species on earth seeks out companionship, but love is something that is unique.  Humans are the only species known to care about such things as looks, personality, goals in life, etc.  Other species simply mate and get on with their lives. I think that humans seek out love because humans are a very codependent species. They (we) rely on each other tremendously to help each other through difficult situations.  It has been scientifically proven that humans do not function well when alone.  After extended periods of time without human interaction, the brain function declines steadily at a slow rate.  Humans need each other. There is not a simpler way to state this than to say that humans need each other. They (we) need love and compassion to keep them (us) healthy and alive. It is human nature to go out into the world seeking love, understanding, and compassion. Not unlike Frankenstein's monster who craved another body to sympathize along side him, humans crave this as well.

The War Rages On

This is a story of oppression. A story that most, wise as they might be, would and will choose to ignore.
The oppressed, even though they are frowned upon as an utter waste of societal space, have always been the people to rise up and bring about revolutionary change in the world. They are the bourgeoisie and they were rejected by the "normals." In that haunting time, all of them were forgotten, dismissed as failures, and strangers to the world. But, there was hope and hope is all that was needed. They rose up through the ashes of their forefathers as a phoenix with new breath. These people exceeded the expectations of the norm. They fought onward through the joys and hardships for without pain, how could they feel joy? (That is an argument not worth pursuing, but to simplify the thought, the burning a tiny figurine has no effect on one's love for chocolate.) They rose above the people who were once above them; pushing further and further until they were no longer the oppressed but the oppressors. The story told in this short paragraph may seem vague, but to the oppressed it is all too real. It applies to people the world over. All rejected people, whether it be gay people, ethnic people, or cancer patients, have felt the oppression crushing them. However, they continue to hope that one day, the "normal situation" (What is normal if everybody is different?) will change and there will be no more hate or denial or rejection, but love and acceptance. One day, this hope will prove successful in winning the war. The war that all people fight everyday.

"Well Its Not My Fault' - Every Kid Ever

      In the novel Frankenstein, Victor feels at fault for his role in the murder of William by The Creature.  He feels this way due to the fact that The Creature was of his creation.  This is a difficult situation to determine who is at fault. It is made even more difficult as Justine is blamed for the murder and put to death. This shows how determining who is at fault is often harder than previously thought.  
      Say, for example, that random stranger lones his broken airplane to his brother without warning him that the engine stalls at unknown increments while flying.  The end result in this situation is that his brother crashes the plane into a cliff and must climb to the top to survive.  That is all fine and dandy, but who is at fault? The brother crashed the plane, but random stranger knew the plane was broken.  In such a terrible situation as the one stated above, I believe that random stranger was at fault because he was fully aware of the consequences of allowing his brother to drive his plane.

Abort Mission!

Around this time last year, I joined a research group that had the goal of discovering different aspects of HIV/AIDS treatments.  When I came into the lab, there were already two students working on a project looking into the prevalence of a mutation that would make a person less susceptible to contracting HIV.  In order to see if a person has this mutation, we performed a PCR which synthetically makes DNA and then ran a gel. The people with the mutation will have an extra band that is physically visible to us.

The band that shows below the first band represents the mutation.

When our group began testing, we ran into a huge problem. The gels, which should have shown up as pretty and clean cut as the one picture above, showed up more like the one below.

This was a huge disappointment and the gels we ran continued to show up "blank" until just recently.  Overcoming this hurtle took nearly a hear, but was a huge accomplishment that gives me hope for the project in the future.

The Art of Exploration

People have always been curious of the unknown world around them. This curiosity is a wonderful intrinsic motivator in the exploration of all that is possible.  Exploration is not always a physical looking for answers, but a mental state in which the explorer looks into the way he/she perceives that which is around them.  When looking around actually occurs and others witness it, it is usually some sort of adventure that takes place. Trips to the New World or delving deep into the Amazonian rainforest are perfect examples. On the other hand, there is the mental exploration that takes place within the mind of every person that has ever walked the Earth. This way of looking inward has given society its backbone.  Without the desire of people to think of new and simple ways of completing tasks, society would not have the technology that it has today. Thus, both forms are of equal importance to the world and its many people. 

Devoting one’s self to discovery and advancements in, whether science or geography is a task requiring passion for the work being completed.  A person may want to do this simply because of love for the subject, while others may want to contribute to the greater good of society.  Helping others around the community and even world could be a huge underlying motive for contributions made to every form of exploration.

These passions for discovery makes having a social life difficult as those interested, are constantly looking for ways to improve what they already have accomplished. Building upon previously completed work is the foundation of all forms of discovery, therefore research must be done consistently to continue moving forward in the desired fields. Doing this would include working late and physical exhaustion from constant efforts.  

Truth Vs. Lie

In a difficult situation, it is sometimes harder to state the truth and lying to cover your mistakes is, in most cases, the easiest solution to the problem at the time. I the long run however, I believe that it would be easier to explain what happened instead of prolonging the problem with a series of lies to stop the person from finding the truth. A difficult situation could be anything from finding out that a kid’s pet has died and they are not aware or even something as simple as being late to work because of a coffee break. In these situations, simply lying to the boss or kid is easy. Just telling the kid it ran away or the boss that the bus broke down is always going to be easier. Lying is the quickest option and will remove the problem the quickest with the least amount of consequences short term, but telling the truth is the better option in the long haul. Telling the kid that his pet fish drowned or telling the boss that the coffee was stolen by angry aliens interested in studying human beings and the caffeine they all crave will end better in the long run as they will continue to trust and respect a person for telling the truth.

The Formative Years

     High school is considered the formative years and has always been a place for people to decide what they will do after graduation and how they will get there.  Because of this, life can become difficult and strenuous during the school year with assignments, tests, and projects along with work and home life.  During my high school years, I have encountered multiple struggles, but have surpassed them to accomplish many goals allowing myself to push further academically.  My struggles however, have been minimal and have not held me back to great lengths.
     These struggles all center around getting assignments done and have inhibited my learning at points.  Being organized is very important for success, but it does not always happen.  Disorganization has caused me to have to waste my time hunting down homework, books, and study guides while I could be using the time to study or finish assignments.  Due to my occasional organizational issues, I have not been able to balance my time effectively.  Without the time I used locating work, finding time to accomplish all of the tasks becomes challenging.  Not getting homework finished is my largest struggle because it leads to lower grades and increased difficulty on tests.  As you can see, all of my struggles intertwine to make my school life a constant endeavor.  Despite all of this, I have managed to make many academic accomplishments so far.
     The accomplishments made in my high school career thus far have been relatively small, but important none the less.  My greatest achievement is being selected for Dr. Harry Kestler's Microbiology Research Group.  This was a huge honor and a success beyond belief in my mind.  Since joining, I have excelled in research and committed myself to doing more than my own part.  None of this would have been possible though without having had the high grades that are needed to be chosen.  Since my first report card, I have never gotten below a "B" in any subject.  This has been comparatively easy for me as I have not had the need to study in great detail like most students.  Because of these high grades I have kept throughout my school career, I did not allow myself to slip on any test or quiz.  For most classes while I was at Amherst Schools, tests and quizzes accounted for sixty percent of the overall grade.  Therefore, failing a tests would result in a sudden decrease in my grade that may have been impossible to fix.  Having known this, I would not allow myself to fail a test.  Failing to me is getting a "F" or "D" and I have kept myself from slipping down into that zone my entire school career.  This is one of my greatest achievements as well because keeping this perfect record is quite difficult.  I hope to continue this record into the future.
     In my future, I would like to continue what I already do now, but also reach other goals.  Continuing HIV/AIDS research through high school and even college is my biggest goal.  My life would not be complete without it.  My grades are very important to my future in college and graduate school, so I will keep them up and hold my grade point average above a 2.5. Going to college is my superior aspiration and partially depends on my passing of the Ohio Graduation Test.  I have no doubts in my mind that I will not only pass my OGT, but excel and score advanced in all subjects.
     Although the struggles shape whoa  person is the most, I believe that the accomplishments do so as well.  My high school experience has been full of goals, success, and even some failures.  The difference between myself and let us say, a drop out, is that I continued to flourish at school despite them.

The Darkest Hour (Bullying and Its Effects)

     Bullying is just a part of life. It is unavoidable throughout school and even more in high school. This has been stated before and ideas very similar to these have even been published by a man named Tim Gill in his book, “No Fear; Growing Up in a Risk Averse Society.” He goes on to state that society has exaggerated what bullying really is and has even gone as far as to say that “playground spats” are being regarded as something overly serious. This man, after publishing his book and receiving multiple letters of hate, stated that he did not believe that bullying was a part of life. The people who sent him these letters are a perfect example of what Mr. Gill said did not exist. Bullying does exist and is the both the cause and effect of many of life’s great tragedies.

    Why do people bully? The most simplistic reason is that the bully craves power over another individual or group to make up for some kind of defect whether it is emotional or physical. These bullies are often hard to get rid of as they feel the need to prove that the defect does not make them weak. Thus, standing up is very difficult as is best done in a group. Bullies are often weakened when they are stood up against by multiple people. This is fantastic, but it rarely happens. People are slow to stand up and defend each other; it is just easier to walk by and ignore the problem. Another reason that this happens is that people are scared of being knocked down or bullied as well. The internet tends to give people a sense of fake confidence that allows them to stand up for each other without fear. It is so much more likely that one would stand up for another when they are not face to face with the problem.

   

     The most terrible tragedy seen as a result of repeated bullying is depression and then possibly even suicide. According to the CDC, an average of 4,400 young people take their own life every year with more than half being a direct result of bullying. To me, that is shocking, but at the same time, I understand it. These are not just numbers as they represent the lives of young people across the country. People, who will never graduate, never get married, never have a career. These people have ceased to exist physically and the changes, lives they would have affected, and goals they would have reached have ceased to exist as well. A whole life ended because of the decisions of a small group. These lives cannot be replaced and what has been done cannot be undone. Everything, no matter how small, comes with a price.

     

Belongings

            Do people have any right to take things that do not belong to them?  A person may think that taking these belonging back would right the wrong done, right? I see it differently.  The people in South Africa who have had their homes demolished because they were built on stolen land had some form of ownership of these homes and were in no way at fault for buying these homes.  Taking these homes back would not make the problem go away or rectify what has already been done.  It simply returns the stolen goods to the rightful owner without giving help to the families displaced.  Once the homes are returned or destroyed, the families had no place to turn and were left homeless.  The homeless families were left abandoned in the street as if it was their fault for buying the homes.  They were, from my understanding, previously unaware of the circumstances in which their homes were built and were therefore not at fault for the occurrence.  In conclusion, it does not make the problem disappear or rectify the wrong done by returning the stolen goods.

Heroes and Villians

People are a selfish bunch.  They choose to do a lot of things to benefit themselves and not the people around them.  Even when they care deeply about somebody else, they cannot risk their lives for others.  It takes a very special person to risk their own well being in order to protect that of another.

These people are the heroes every person knows.  They are firefighters, policemen, and paramedics.  They save life and run into the face of danger to save strangers that they have never met.  They are the true heroes and always will be.  Keeping the public safe is their main goal when they wake up and go into work.

Why do these people do what they do? How do they go to work knowing they may never come home?  This is because they know that even if they parish, they will be remember and forever loved by the family and friends of those that they saved.  The work that they do is so amazing that they do not need to worry about being forgotten after they die, or fear that their loved ones will have no way of moving on. They know that their family will move on with the honor that their relative saved a person's life without hesitating; knowing that they themselves may not come out.

On the other hand, some people (most people) could not imagine running into danger to defend their country.  They could never, in a million years, go into a life threatening situation for the sake of the country that they call home. Looking out for themselves is the natural way.  Ensure that they themselves are safe and cared for before looking for the others.  It is human instinct to protect one's own body and only a few people can really go against that in reality. These people are the heroes, while the others might as well be the villains.

Meeting in History

            If I could meet anybody in the universe and do anything I wanted to with them, I would want to meet John Lennon and just talk to him.  His message of peace and forgiving still stands today and we all hope for the future that he imagined.  If I could meet him, I think I would like to go get some coffee or out to dinner and talk to him about what he really thought on a bunch of issues. I am very curious as to his inspiration to write many of his songs including the most famous one, “Imagine.”  John Lennon has influenced my life greatly as I grew up listening to him and the rest of The Beatles.  I learned to be a love my fellow man and gained an understanding of the world around me.  The man was truly amazing and did not deserve the cruel ending he received at all.

Winter Break 2012

Over winter break this year, I did quite a lot.  I went sledding, saw a few movies, and went to some parties. One of my favorite days of break was the day Cody, Mike, and I went sledding.  We went to Fox Creek Gold Club and slid down a hill on one of the back nine holes.  The only problem was, that right about the same time that we arrived, three or four families arrived with a bunch of little kids.  This kind of scared me because we were sliding all over the place and flipping off the sleds trying to slide down them standing up and attempting crazy stunts.  I was a bit worried that I would hit one of the kids, and I was not alone in this thought as Mike announced that he did not want to go down the hill and possibly kill a small child.  We ended up leaving having only sled maybe ten times.  It was pretty lame that we did not get to sled that many times, but I had a ton of fun and I only injured myself a few times which, of course, was an added benefit.

A Letter to a Loved One

To my loved one,

If you are reading this than I guess I am dead.  One of those many diseases or syndromes I claimed to have is probably the culprit.  You did not believe me when I said I had whatever it was an now look, I am dead.  Since I will no longer be around, I want you to know how much I really loved you even if I never said it aloud.  You truly are an amazing person although you tend not to show it.  There are so many things that I wish I could tell you now, but I want to keep this short.  Never let anybody tell you that you cannot do something or that you cannot feel a certain way.  We are who we are not matter what the rest of the world thinks.  You can do anything, be anybody, and go anywhere.  Everything you do makes somebody's life worth living and that should make it all worth it.  I hope this letter has brought some type of understanding as to why I have always been there for you.  You are one of the most, if not the most important person in my life and I want to move on knowing that you will continue living your life.  You can grow up and be an amazing individual.  You can have a great future even if you do not see it right now.  I once thought I had no future, and at this point in my life, I know exactly what I want to do.  For the first time in my life, I can see myself having a future.  You will have this moment too.  Do not give up.

Love,
Nick

Role Model

My role model is Dr. Harry Kestler because he has inspired me to become a microbiologist.  Dr. Kestler is a microbiology professor and also a research coordinator/scientist which is exactly what I have decided I would be amazing at.  He has created multiple vaccines and his research into the genes of HIV is now being used by people around the world to develop new treatments.  This man is one of the most inspirational people I know and has always encouraged not only me, but every single person who comes to him for help.  He believes that we can all accomplish our goals and I would love to be able to pass that feeling on to others one day.  He is not just a great researcher, but he makes biology extremely fun to learn and all of his classes are full of just as much humor as they are teaching.  These are just a few of the reasons that Dr. Kestler inspires me.

The Castro

If I could live anywhere in the world, I would want to live within the Castro District of San Francisco.  The main reason I would want to spend my life there is because it was the center of the AIDS epidemic and has only recently, within the past 20 years, bounced back and become home to both the one of the largest AIDS nonprofits and the center for many gay rights campaigns.  The Castro is actually quite large, so let me be specific.  I want to live on the actual Castro Street, but that is extremely expensive as it is the main street and runs through the center of the valley.  It is a very busy area and there is always some kind of event going on whether it is a jazz concert or a march to remember those lost.  Living here would be amazing and fulfilling because I would be able to support the two main things that I believe we need in this country, gay rights, and a cure for AIDS.  

If Money Was No Object

If money was no object, what would a person do with their lives?  That's what this project sought to figure out.  What each and every individual in Early College would do if they did not have to worry about the monetary value.  Some went for a funny route, while others took a very serious stance on the issue.  A lot was learned from the project and it has helped me figure out a little bit about myself.

In the video, I say that I would be a microbiologist and cure HIV/AIDS to help the millions worldwide affected by the disease, but after doing the project and watching other peoples' videos, I decided that I would much rather be an activist.  I want to get out into the world and show people the truth about HIV.  In Lorain County, there are still people who believe that HIV can be contracted from being in the same room as an infected individual, or that AIDS is still a gay disease.  Both of these ideas are extremely false and people need to understand that. So, in conclusion, I have decided to change how I would help society.  Instead of finding a vaccine or a cure, I want to help people understand what HIV infection means and what they can do to prevent themselves from contracting this life threatening disease.

"1984" George Orwell

          The book I most enjoyed reading is 1984 by George Orwell.  The book shows what Orwell believed would occur in the future.  It follows the life of Winston as he travels through life in a dystopia.  He is part of the controlling party of Oceania, one of three major countries, and is being watched constantly by Big Brother.  He defies the party when he pursues a relationship with Julia and the plot continues on with them being imprisoned for their actions against Big Brother.  The two become reformed by the party and are sent back into the community.  This book characterizes what life would be like if freedom did not exist.  The reason I enjoyed this book so much was because the concepts described in the writing were easily seen in today’s society.  The rich have become richer and the poor are poorer.  The freedom to do as one would choose no longer exists.  No matter where a person goes, somebody else know where they have gone, thus making it near impossible to drop off the grid.  These are just a few of the ideas that made 1984 an amazing book.

Mad or Glad

            Finding happiness in everyday life is something the whole world aspires to do.  In order to find happiness though, they need to focus on a career that makes them happy, and not something with a tangible reward.  Robert Frost describes what can happen if people choose a career that does not satisfy them in his poem, “After Apple-Picking.”  Frost portrays his feelings of despair as he realizes that he chose a monetary value over his own happiness by using literary elements such as personification and imagery.

            The speaker’s life is full of regret at his decision to pick apples for a living because of the physical benefits.  Because of the choice the speaker made he is haunted by the very thing he thought he desired night after night.  Frost states, “The woodchuck could say whether it’s like his/Long sleep, as I describe its coming on/Or just some human sleep.”  This gives us the image of having a nightmare that you cannot wake up from.  A dream that haunts you even after you wake and makes life a difficult task in of itself.  In order to fully understand Frost’s message, the reader must imagine sleeping for months with the same terrible dream of something that they used to love, but has become so redundant in their life that then can no longer stand the sight of it.  This is the message that Frost achieves through the use of personification.  Although this is a great message, it would not be as well understood without Frost’s use of imagery.

            “After Apple-Picking” uses many forms of imagery to convey the overall message to do what makes you happy.  Imagery is the use of descriptive language in a literary work.  Frost uses this figurative language throughout his poem to give it a sense of familiarity.  A great example would be when Frost says, “I cannot rub the strangeness from my sight/I got from looking through a pane of glass.”  This describes the trouble that individuals might have seeing their mistakes until it is already too late.  When the speaker is looking through “the pane of glass,” he cannot process his thoughts clearly and believes the world is different than what is actually there.  Once the glass melts, reality sets in and he realizes the mistake he made when he took this job.  This applies to real life because every human being in this world makes mistakes, and most times, they do not realize they have made them until it is too late to fix them.  Frost uses imagery to further the dramatization of his message.

            The feelings of sadness and hopelessness are evident throughout Frost’s poem and are further dramatized by his use of literary elements.  It is important to understand the message that Frost conveys because doing what makes a person happy is the most important thing in one’s life.  A person cannot be truly happy making a ton of money at a job that they hate.  To make myself happy, I will become a microbiological researcher because I can make a difference in the world by curing terrible diseases that affect everyday people.  The world needs more people interested in finding the causes of life threatening diseases and I would love to take on that challenge.  Money is a very important aspect of everyday life, but it should never rule a person’s life.

            

Changing Events

                 

              If I could change one thing that has happened to me in the past, it would be from back when I went to Amherst.  When I was in school there, people treated me like I was worthless.  They were rude, insensitive, and even smug about the way they treated me.  I was bullied constantly throughout middle school; in the hallways, classrooms, and even outside the school on the way home.   Those people would call me faggot, useless, and tell me that I would never be successful in life.  They said I would never find love because I was a freak.  I started to believe it after a while, the same way you learn to ride a bike.  If it you do it enough, you do not have to think about it anymore.  It just comes naturally.  This brings me to the way I acted towards them.  I was super nice; thinking that if I showed them I was a good person, maybe they would like me better, that maybe I would actually have some friends.  If I could change one thing, I would change the way I acted.  I would not sit around and let them torment me.  It is my own fault that it happened. I could have stood up for myself, but I did not.  So, I would have told them that they needed to stop and that what they were saying was not only rude, but wrong.  I learned that I need to stand up for myself because nobody else will.

Free Time

                 In my spare time, one of the things that I like to do the most is read.  People who know me have seen me with my kindle or some weird AIDS book.  I read every night before I go to sleep and pretty much any time I have spare time.  Which is better for you?  To sit and watch some dumb movie about a bunch of people getting shot up, or to learn some cool facts, I would hope the choice would be obvious.  I do not know why I read what I read, but I love to read nonfiction books and I especially love reading about infectious diseases.  I cannot help what interests me, but I can just go with the flow.  The best way to learn something is to read it because books are not going anywhere.  No matter what happens, the books will always be around as a reference source to reread something.  I think literacy is very important and reading is something I love to do.  Guess I am just a big nerd.  #nerdswag