A Letter to a Loved One

To my loved one,

If you are reading this than I guess I am dead.  One of those many diseases or syndromes I claimed to have is probably the culprit.  You did not believe me when I said I had whatever it was an now look, I am dead.  Since I will no longer be around, I want you to know how much I really loved you even if I never said it aloud.  You truly are an amazing person although you tend not to show it.  There are so many things that I wish I could tell you now, but I want to keep this short.  Never let anybody tell you that you cannot do something or that you cannot feel a certain way.  We are who we are not matter what the rest of the world thinks.  You can do anything, be anybody, and go anywhere.  Everything you do makes somebody's life worth living and that should make it all worth it.  I hope this letter has brought some type of understanding as to why I have always been there for you.  You are one of the most, if not the most important person in my life and I want to move on knowing that you will continue living your life.  You can grow up and be an amazing individual.  You can have a great future even if you do not see it right now.  I once thought I had no future, and at this point in my life, I know exactly what I want to do.  For the first time in my life, I can see myself having a future.  You will have this moment too.  Do not give up.

Love,
Nick

Role Model

My role model is Dr. Harry Kestler because he has inspired me to become a microbiologist.  Dr. Kestler is a microbiology professor and also a research coordinator/scientist which is exactly what I have decided I would be amazing at.  He has created multiple vaccines and his research into the genes of HIV is now being used by people around the world to develop new treatments.  This man is one of the most inspirational people I know and has always encouraged not only me, but every single person who comes to him for help.  He believes that we can all accomplish our goals and I would love to be able to pass that feeling on to others one day.  He is not just a great researcher, but he makes biology extremely fun to learn and all of his classes are full of just as much humor as they are teaching.  These are just a few of the reasons that Dr. Kestler inspires me.

The Castro

If I could live anywhere in the world, I would want to live within the Castro District of San Francisco.  The main reason I would want to spend my life there is because it was the center of the AIDS epidemic and has only recently, within the past 20 years, bounced back and become home to both the one of the largest AIDS nonprofits and the center for many gay rights campaigns.  The Castro is actually quite large, so let me be specific.  I want to live on the actual Castro Street, but that is extremely expensive as it is the main street and runs through the center of the valley.  It is a very busy area and there is always some kind of event going on whether it is a jazz concert or a march to remember those lost.  Living here would be amazing and fulfilling because I would be able to support the two main things that I believe we need in this country, gay rights, and a cure for AIDS.  

If Money Was No Object

If money was no object, what would a person do with their lives?  That's what this project sought to figure out.  What each and every individual in Early College would do if they did not have to worry about the monetary value.  Some went for a funny route, while others took a very serious stance on the issue.  A lot was learned from the project and it has helped me figure out a little bit about myself.

In the video, I say that I would be a microbiologist and cure HIV/AIDS to help the millions worldwide affected by the disease, but after doing the project and watching other peoples' videos, I decided that I would much rather be an activist.  I want to get out into the world and show people the truth about HIV.  In Lorain County, there are still people who believe that HIV can be contracted from being in the same room as an infected individual, or that AIDS is still a gay disease.  Both of these ideas are extremely false and people need to understand that. So, in conclusion, I have decided to change how I would help society.  Instead of finding a vaccine or a cure, I want to help people understand what HIV infection means and what they can do to prevent themselves from contracting this life threatening disease.

"1984" George Orwell

          The book I most enjoyed reading is 1984 by George Orwell.  The book shows what Orwell believed would occur in the future.  It follows the life of Winston as he travels through life in a dystopia.  He is part of the controlling party of Oceania, one of three major countries, and is being watched constantly by Big Brother.  He defies the party when he pursues a relationship with Julia and the plot continues on with them being imprisoned for their actions against Big Brother.  The two become reformed by the party and are sent back into the community.  This book characterizes what life would be like if freedom did not exist.  The reason I enjoyed this book so much was because the concepts described in the writing were easily seen in today’s society.  The rich have become richer and the poor are poorer.  The freedom to do as one would choose no longer exists.  No matter where a person goes, somebody else know where they have gone, thus making it near impossible to drop off the grid.  These are just a few of the ideas that made 1984 an amazing book.

Mad or Glad

            Finding happiness in everyday life is something the whole world aspires to do.  In order to find happiness though, they need to focus on a career that makes them happy, and not something with a tangible reward.  Robert Frost describes what can happen if people choose a career that does not satisfy them in his poem, “After Apple-Picking.”  Frost portrays his feelings of despair as he realizes that he chose a monetary value over his own happiness by using literary elements such as personification and imagery.

            The speaker’s life is full of regret at his decision to pick apples for a living because of the physical benefits.  Because of the choice the speaker made he is haunted by the very thing he thought he desired night after night.  Frost states, “The woodchuck could say whether it’s like his/Long sleep, as I describe its coming on/Or just some human sleep.”  This gives us the image of having a nightmare that you cannot wake up from.  A dream that haunts you even after you wake and makes life a difficult task in of itself.  In order to fully understand Frost’s message, the reader must imagine sleeping for months with the same terrible dream of something that they used to love, but has become so redundant in their life that then can no longer stand the sight of it.  This is the message that Frost achieves through the use of personification.  Although this is a great message, it would not be as well understood without Frost’s use of imagery.

            “After Apple-Picking” uses many forms of imagery to convey the overall message to do what makes you happy.  Imagery is the use of descriptive language in a literary work.  Frost uses this figurative language throughout his poem to give it a sense of familiarity.  A great example would be when Frost says, “I cannot rub the strangeness from my sight/I got from looking through a pane of glass.”  This describes the trouble that individuals might have seeing their mistakes until it is already too late.  When the speaker is looking through “the pane of glass,” he cannot process his thoughts clearly and believes the world is different than what is actually there.  Once the glass melts, reality sets in and he realizes the mistake he made when he took this job.  This applies to real life because every human being in this world makes mistakes, and most times, they do not realize they have made them until it is too late to fix them.  Frost uses imagery to further the dramatization of his message.

            The feelings of sadness and hopelessness are evident throughout Frost’s poem and are further dramatized by his use of literary elements.  It is important to understand the message that Frost conveys because doing what makes a person happy is the most important thing in one’s life.  A person cannot be truly happy making a ton of money at a job that they hate.  To make myself happy, I will become a microbiological researcher because I can make a difference in the world by curing terrible diseases that affect everyday people.  The world needs more people interested in finding the causes of life threatening diseases and I would love to take on that challenge.  Money is a very important aspect of everyday life, but it should never rule a person’s life.

            

Changing Events

                 

              If I could change one thing that has happened to me in the past, it would be from back when I went to Amherst.  When I was in school there, people treated me like I was worthless.  They were rude, insensitive, and even smug about the way they treated me.  I was bullied constantly throughout middle school; in the hallways, classrooms, and even outside the school on the way home.   Those people would call me faggot, useless, and tell me that I would never be successful in life.  They said I would never find love because I was a freak.  I started to believe it after a while, the same way you learn to ride a bike.  If it you do it enough, you do not have to think about it anymore.  It just comes naturally.  This brings me to the way I acted towards them.  I was super nice; thinking that if I showed them I was a good person, maybe they would like me better, that maybe I would actually have some friends.  If I could change one thing, I would change the way I acted.  I would not sit around and let them torment me.  It is my own fault that it happened. I could have stood up for myself, but I did not.  So, I would have told them that they needed to stop and that what they were saying was not only rude, but wrong.  I learned that I need to stand up for myself because nobody else will.

Free Time

                 In my spare time, one of the things that I like to do the most is read.  People who know me have seen me with my kindle or some weird AIDS book.  I read every night before I go to sleep and pretty much any time I have spare time.  Which is better for you?  To sit and watch some dumb movie about a bunch of people getting shot up, or to learn some cool facts, I would hope the choice would be obvious.  I do not know why I read what I read, but I love to read nonfiction books and I especially love reading about infectious diseases.  I cannot help what interests me, but I can just go with the flow.  The best way to learn something is to read it because books are not going anywhere.  No matter what happens, the books will always be around as a reference source to reread something.  I think literacy is very important and reading is something I love to do.  Guess I am just a big nerd.  #nerdswag

Music

The Killers - Human

                    Music is something we all experience in life, whether in the care on the way to the movies or while actually watching the movie.  I love music as most people do and it helps me to concentrate when I need to work something out.  My favorite genre is alternative or punk rock.  Inside of this genre are many groups that we all know such as "Green Day", "U2", and even "Coldplay", but my favorite group is "The Killers".  I enjoy their music because the lyrics they tend to use convey a direct message while also making you think.  I do not like music where they just sing about loving a girl or some terrible break up, but the music that has a hidden meaning.  One of their most famous songs would be Mr. Brightside, but in my opinion, it is not their best work.  My personal favorite is Human because of the lyric, "Are we human, or are we dancers."  I believe that this lyric is asking if we are making mistakes as all humans do or are we trying our hardest to be perfect and to excel in everything.  The being said, it is the perfect kind of music for me and I do not plan on changing my mind anytime soon.

The Killers 2012

                                           

Government Funded Day Care For Working Parents

I believe that parents who work during the week should not be entitled to free daycare for their children provided by the government.  There are a few reasons for this, but the main reason is that if a person has a child, then it is their responsibility to take care of the child, not that of the government.  The government had no part in the plans of individual people and their decisions to have or not to have children.  Because of this, I strongly believe that even though the parents may work all week, it is still their responsibility to ensure that their child will be cared for when they are unable to provide the care needed.  Also, it would drive the prices of day care up for people who did not meet the requirements for the government funded day care program.  This being because there would be less clients, so the day care providers would need to raise rates in order to maintain the standards for the children’s care.  To restate my point, I do not believe that working parents are entitled to free day care.

Art

            I value art very much because it is a way to express things that would otherwise be difficult to explain to the world.  We draw, paint, sing, and dance to express not only who we are, but what we want to become.  While taking a look at art from different time periods, such as that of the black plague era, I could see the emotions felt by so many people.  The paintings of that time were sad and sadistic, depicting people burning along with satanic images of women and children infected with some unseen killer.  Similarly, during the Renaissance Movement in Europe, the paintings depict good times when goods were cheap and easy to come by.  They show things such as children happily playing, colleges and other places of study flourishing in the great time period.  These things do not just apply to paintings although they are the most common works seen.  I strongly believe that art should be something that we all value in life. 

The Capital

            Over the summer, I went to our nation’s capital.  This was the first time I had been there because I skipped the standard eighth grade field trip.  I mean, let’s be honest, that trip was a total waste of money and you hardly got to see anything when they moved so fast.  I wanted to see everything and learn as much as I could, but I’m going to stick to the second day I spent in D.C.  We started out at the American History Museum and worked our way up the three exhibit floors.  I split off on my own and read everything.  I learned about everything from when the first vacuum cleaner was made to the tale of the National Anthem.  After exploring the Military Hall, my family and I went to the Air and Space Museum. Out of all the things we did there, this was by far my favorite.  Upon arriving, I headed to the far end where the model of the Apollo 16 lunar module was and worked my way backwards towards the stairs reading everything.  There was a whole section dedicated to comparing the Russian advances in missile and aerospace science to our ways.  Alongside that was a scale replica of Hubble Space Telescope and the infamous sputnik.  I made my way upstairs, walking through the inside of an aircraft carrier and a “space home” reading everything including the history of the Apollo Missions in their entirety and the Wright Brothers’ Hall.  After I finished, I had to wait for my family to finish up, so I had a random guy take a picture of me tebowing in the middle of the walkway.  I had so much fun there and would love to go back and spend some more time in all of the museums.

Nicholas

While my parents were chatting at the table, I went to blurt out a few questions about my name, but decided I should wait a few seconds so they would be listening.  I asked my mom how she and my dad had come to name me Nicholas today.  At first, my mom’s face made me think I was entering treacherous territory, but she answered me eventually.  My mom started out with, “I liked the name, so I gave it to you.” went on to tell me a few reasons for my naming.  At first she acted like my questions was an instigation to have some meaningless conversation, which is usually what it is.  She told me that because I was to be born on Christmas Eve, (I was born three days early however.) her first thought was of St. Nicholas.  I laughed pretty hard at this and made a few jokes about Santa Clause, which she told me I was a dork for.  Then I learned about a T.V. show that she watched as a child called “Eight is Enough”.  It followed a family in California with eight kids, the youngest being a boy named Nicholas.  She decided after watching that show that Nicholas was her favorite name.  I personally do not like the name very much.  I don’t think it fits me like it should.  Having another name would be strange, but I feel like my name shouldn’t be Nick.  When I researched my name and what it could mean, it told me that Nicholas’ tended to be extroverted and loud at times, but could be classy when needed.  I learned that it means victory of the people and was given to men born into wealth with family legacy.  I found this funny since, I am neither.  Although I can be loud and act like a total buffoon at times, I still stick to the belief that my name doesn’t suit me.